A little over 16 months ago, my mother passed away. Mom and Dad are now both gone, and I’ve felt even more nostalgic than before Mom’s passing at the end of October 2021. Don’t get me wrong, I am living in the “here and now”! Even if there’s plenty going on in the world that’s downright depressing, there’s enough happening in my life which puts a smile on my face and for which I’m extremely grateful.
At the same time – and I imagine this has to do with the fact that both of my parents are no longer alive – I’ve found myself thinking about my childhood years and my life as a young adult. I’m sure this is part of the grieving process and everything that comes with it after a loved one has passed away. Sometimes I smile when I think of Mom and Dad, and other times – for no particular reason – I find myself shedding a few tears. The commonality between these emotions is the love, warmth, and thankfulness I feel for that which my parents gave me! One important example is my birthday, which will repeat itself for the 56th time tomorrow, March 7th.
Since it’s been a few months since I posted something, I thought this milestone would be a good opportunity to share some thoughts with you.
I remember the birthday parties at our home and the goodies that Mom and Dad baked for my birthday. Dad was a confectioner at Nestlé, so baking cakes and making sweets for people to enjoy was not only his hobby, but his livelihood! He always baked a chocolate cake with chocolate cream filling for the birthday parties I had with my friends. I was, and still am, a “chocolate lover”! Mom’s trademark cake was Linzertorte, which originates in Linz, a city in Austria. The dough used to make Linzertorte contains cinnamon and cloves, and its unique feature is a layer of raspberry jam covered with strips of dough in a criss-cross fashion. I always found her Linzertorte yummy! My parents always knew what I liked and made something for everyone to enjoy.
I also fondly remember the gifts my parents bestowed on me. When I was in grade school, my parents placed their card to me, as well as my gifts, on the dining room table. My baptism candle also stood on the table, which they lit and I blew out after they and my brother, Chris, sang “Happy Birthday” to me.
I was always surprised when I walked into the dining room to find my birthday card and gifts, and the lit candle, waiting for me! I unwrapped my birthday presents before I went to school, and was very thankful to my parents for their gifts.
When I no longer lived at home, Mom and Dad always sent me a card and called me on my birthday. The card they wrote always contained a monetary gift so I could fulfill a wish. I still have several birthday cards they wrote to me. As they did then, namely to say how much they loved me and that they only wanted the best for me, I now feel their presence and I know they’re both keeping watch over me!
This year, and for the first time in my adult life, I am taking a day off on my birthday, and will spend my “special day” with my husband, Marius. We will enjoy lunch at one of our favorite restaurants close to where we live. I will also remember my parents. Most of all, I will remember their love and generosity – not only on my birthday – but each and every day they were a part of my life!
For those of you who have lost both parents, I hope you find comfort in remembering not only the birthdays you celebrated with them, but each day they were in your midst.
For those of you who still have at least one of your parents, cherish each moment you have with him/her/them!
You will hear from me again sometime soon. My mother – who had Alzheimer – may no longer be among us. However, there are still things I’d like to share that may be of assistance to those of you who are dealing with a situation related to the cognitive decline of a loved one.
In the meantime, please do not hesitate to reach out if you need to!
Thank you for your support of Role Reversal!
Sincerely,
Jackie
Happy 56th birthday, Jackie - still young enough not to need a Fire Dept. "permit" for a multi-candle birthday cake - and we enjoyed your thoughtful and joyous message. While we are in our low 80's (Lincoln's "4 score and X years") - both of our parents passed away well over 30 years and more ago - but your comments of past events, funny and sad, in both childhood & adulthood, rang true with us and had us "reflecting" again. We loved your digression of chocolate and cake ingredients - me (Rich) in particular, since I'm willingly inclined to discourse "off on tangents" - with an oft used phrase "but I digress". Wishing you and Marius a safe / healthy / happy 2023. Anne & Rich
Thank you for sharing this, Jackie, and belated Happy Birthday! You have got me thinking about my childhood birthdays...gifts I hoped for and sometimes got, and the wonderful, delicious cakes...does anyone else remember this tradition that we had in my family: My grandmother would bake a birthday cake, and while the batter was setting in the oven, she would drop in four or five coins--a nickel a penny, a dime--each wrapped in aluminum foil. Then when she sliced the cake for us kids, some of us would get a lucky slice with coin to keep!
Jim