Why join us on this journey?

We have found ourselves in difficult, clumsy and awkward situations when we’ve dealt with our family member’s aging issues. Cognitive decline conversations in particular are cringe-worthy. Individuals and companies in the healthcare industry are well-trained in conducting conversations surrounding end of life. Lay people are sometimes borderline incompetent. Our beloved circle of family and friends include people who want to support us, but may not know how, so they hesitate to speak plainly and openly with us. To put it bluntly, there is no cookbook recipe for a child who is confronted with the aging process of a parent, so we asked ourselves…

What if some people were brave and plain spoken about issues pertaining to aging and cognitive decline?

We believe there is an audience for loving, funny, and direct conversations about end of life issues and cognitive decline. People aren't just hungry for these conversations. They are starving for them. Something about 2020 has made them brave enough to start the conversation.

This return to bravery will be facilitated in a series of pieces about cognitive decline and end of life issues. 

Why now?

We have no reservations in sharing something which we feel could be helpful to others experiencing a similar situation.

The monsters and hobgoblins of fear and grief grow in the dark.

Our no shame newsletter is designed to be a candle 🕯️ to help you light your way. 

Who are we?

Jackie is the daughter of a mother whose cognitive abilities have steadily declined. She has learned a great deal about the aging process and how to deal with the slow, but sure loss of her mom.  

Carolyn is a divorcee, mom, daughter and feminist. Her father had a form of dementia called Louis Body. Dad called Carolyn “sweetie”. He also called her “DC”, she’s not sure why. Carolyn’s style is to shine a light under the bed and look at the monsters. Sometimes those monsters really just need a hug. But sometimes they are twisted little ***ers.   

How do these two women know each other?

Carolyn and Jackie have known each other since they were five years old. They grew up in Upstate New York and went to St. Mary’s School together. Their lives have taken different paths, however, thirty-five years later and almost 4,000 miles between them, Carolyn and Jackie have remained close friends. 

Why are they telling their story at the same time? (rather than independently?)

The story of aging spans cultures and continents, so while they live on different sides of the Atlantic Ocean – Carolyn and Jackie have decided to collaborate on this project.

First, they believe that “two heads are better than one”, and secondly, they provide somewhat different perspectives on the aging process. Carolyn's focus is on both parents, a long distance between her and her parents, and the situation as she has experienced it in the United States. Jackie's focus is on one parent, a relatively short distance between her and her mother, and the situation as she has experienced it in Switzerland. 

Join us. You are not alone.

In German there is a saying - and the translation goes something like this:

“Joy that is shared is doubled and pain that is shared is cut in half.”

It is our intention to be a guiding light. We don’t have all the answers, but we believe in the power of telling one’s story. ❤️

To find out more about the company that provides the tech for this newsletter, visit Substack.com.