Thank you for another beautiful newsletter, Jackie! I love the photo, and I also love the "connect the dots" comparison! Your insights are so helpful to us all!
You've done it again, Jackie. For some reason, this is my favorite column of Role Reversal. Not that it's a competition, but what you said her really brought the experiences with your mother to light. Maybe it's the idea of keeping things simple that helped it make perfect sense. You also fully expressed the realization that the mom you've known, loved and depended on all your life is gone and won't be returning. That, I must imagine, is the hardest. Thanks for sharing this with us!
dear Jacqueline - I relate so much to you post. Just the other day my first intention "I wanna tell mom" realizing she has gone as a sparring partner for a long long time... Sadness crawling up.
Hi Jackie – thanks for your usual insightful & interesting comments – our overused but appropriate phrase, so we’ll add a true thought-provoking Role Reversal. My typical jocular comment infused with serious thoughts will be kicked off with this: the 1971 photo of your Mom & you (age 4) at Saranac Lake – reminds us of learning from our daughter, your ND classmate, you were born & lived in “upstate New York”, so without knowing the locale (whether urban or bucolic suburbs), the observation is Saranac Lake is in the Adirondack Mountains – just 35 miles from I-87 Northway (built ’57-to-’67), likely (current) exit #34 via Rte 9N, then Rte 86 to Saranac – musing about NYS towns around the Adirondacks being Malone, Massena, Potsdam, Canton, Waterown (my US Army 1st Lt Reserve summer duty at Camp Drum), unless you lived in the Adirondack egion … but enough of the 2020 Rand-McNally “Road Atlas” considerations. Your “simplicity” comments resonated with me (Rich) and brother RIP in 2020 (our parents long since deceased), in two (2) areas: >>> the matter of discussions (& contact) changing from substantive issues to simple topics, can also present challenges & funny scenarios, e.g. my brother enlisted his 2 daughters to compile a “simple” telephone list of family & friends – he promptly lost in his single nursing home room – albeit unable to make calls on his “incoming” only phone (based on his initial entry to the facility and his readiness to “dial 911”), and inability to discern any usefulness of electronic “who is calling”, but hopefully retaining the verbal greeting of “hi, this is …” Then too, on my brother’s request for an “elaborate” ancestry laden family organization chart, replete with family relationships (not his words but our deduction of his wishes), I told my nieces “fuhgettaboutit” – he’ll forget it & would lose it anyway. >>> the matter of inability to differentiate schedules and even a daily time-table, can be funny, frustrating & frightful, e.g. a few years ago, we (me & Anne) visited Florida, and front-line daughter & husband in Florida confirmed our visit and a lunch of “all of us” the same day – whereupon unbeknownst to us, my nephew & wife (from NY) “popped in” earlier in the day to take my bro to McDonalds – bro “forgetting” a meet-up lunch with us – and to make matters worse, the nursing home had no official “sign-out” at the front desk (later revealed at the back door) – so the developments were either ** he walked out (secretively) on his own, roaming around the neighborhood, or ** he was kidnapped - albeit unlikely as an 82+ senior with a “walker”, unless perceived to be an affluent person on a stroll. Your (3) “Lessons”, so to speak, were quite good, i.e. ** surround yourself with family & friends – to balance off experience with the Role Reversal person, ** it’s OK to use “simple language” – and that can sometimes be a daunting task requiring creativity, ** Document your thoughts – for past reflection and future preparation. Rich & Anne
Thank you for another beautiful newsletter, Jackie! I love the photo, and I also love the "connect the dots" comparison! Your insights are so helpful to us all!
You've done it again, Jackie. For some reason, this is my favorite column of Role Reversal. Not that it's a competition, but what you said her really brought the experiences with your mother to light. Maybe it's the idea of keeping things simple that helped it make perfect sense. You also fully expressed the realization that the mom you've known, loved and depended on all your life is gone and won't be returning. That, I must imagine, is the hardest. Thanks for sharing this with us!
dear Jacqueline - I relate so much to you post. Just the other day my first intention "I wanna tell mom" realizing she has gone as a sparring partner for a long long time... Sadness crawling up.
Hi Jackie – thanks for your usual insightful & interesting comments – our overused but appropriate phrase, so we’ll add a true thought-provoking Role Reversal. My typical jocular comment infused with serious thoughts will be kicked off with this: the 1971 photo of your Mom & you (age 4) at Saranac Lake – reminds us of learning from our daughter, your ND classmate, you were born & lived in “upstate New York”, so without knowing the locale (whether urban or bucolic suburbs), the observation is Saranac Lake is in the Adirondack Mountains – just 35 miles from I-87 Northway (built ’57-to-’67), likely (current) exit #34 via Rte 9N, then Rte 86 to Saranac – musing about NYS towns around the Adirondacks being Malone, Massena, Potsdam, Canton, Waterown (my US Army 1st Lt Reserve summer duty at Camp Drum), unless you lived in the Adirondack egion … but enough of the 2020 Rand-McNally “Road Atlas” considerations. Your “simplicity” comments resonated with me (Rich) and brother RIP in 2020 (our parents long since deceased), in two (2) areas: >>> the matter of discussions (& contact) changing from substantive issues to simple topics, can also present challenges & funny scenarios, e.g. my brother enlisted his 2 daughters to compile a “simple” telephone list of family & friends – he promptly lost in his single nursing home room – albeit unable to make calls on his “incoming” only phone (based on his initial entry to the facility and his readiness to “dial 911”), and inability to discern any usefulness of electronic “who is calling”, but hopefully retaining the verbal greeting of “hi, this is …” Then too, on my brother’s request for an “elaborate” ancestry laden family organization chart, replete with family relationships (not his words but our deduction of his wishes), I told my nieces “fuhgettaboutit” – he’ll forget it & would lose it anyway. >>> the matter of inability to differentiate schedules and even a daily time-table, can be funny, frustrating & frightful, e.g. a few years ago, we (me & Anne) visited Florida, and front-line daughter & husband in Florida confirmed our visit and a lunch of “all of us” the same day – whereupon unbeknownst to us, my nephew & wife (from NY) “popped in” earlier in the day to take my bro to McDonalds – bro “forgetting” a meet-up lunch with us – and to make matters worse, the nursing home had no official “sign-out” at the front desk (later revealed at the back door) – so the developments were either ** he walked out (secretively) on his own, roaming around the neighborhood, or ** he was kidnapped - albeit unlikely as an 82+ senior with a “walker”, unless perceived to be an affluent person on a stroll. Your (3) “Lessons”, so to speak, were quite good, i.e. ** surround yourself with family & friends – to balance off experience with the Role Reversal person, ** it’s OK to use “simple language” – and that can sometimes be a daunting task requiring creativity, ** Document your thoughts – for past reflection and future preparation. Rich & Anne